Can you really fall sick and the doctor tells you that the cause of your sickness is love? Is that actually possible?
Most people reading this will find this quite funny, they can’t believe that there is something like lovesickness.
Questions like isn’t love sickness just something we tell people when they act weird just because they are in love with some who doesn’t love them or perhaps when they just had a break up with their partner?
As funny as you think this is, lovesickness is actually a thing. A lot of research has shown that lovesickness is actually recognized by the medical community not just as a saying but as a medical condition that requires a degree of professional intervention.
Certain hormones (endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin) are released with a feeling of happiness. The opposite happens when you feel sad, these hormones are not present so instead of the feeling of happiness, excitement, and joy, you feel depressed and unhappy.
The same thing happens with love, there are certain neurotransmitters and hormones that give you a kind of “high feeling” when you fall in love.
What then happens when your love is unrequited or when the person you love breaks up with you?
Definitely the opposite of happiness, “high feeling “ becomes “low feeling”, sadness and depression set in.
These can make someone exhibit outrageous and unhealthy behaviors that is detrimental to them and to people around them.
What is lovesickness?
Lovesickness is the term given to a group of negative symptoms that affects a person who is deeply in love or who is experiencing unrequited or absent love.
Falling in love is an experience that most people describe as “magical” love is associated with smiles, summer, happiness, laughter, and many other beautiful things that people admire and celebrate.
The feeling of being in love for some people is synonymous with the feeling of getting high on hard drugs(cocaine).
Let’s take a practical example of a man in his 30s who takes a lot of hard drugs that fills him with the feeling of completeness, happiness, and a sense of power. Then he losses his source of income and can no longer afford his drugs which he is already addicted to. What becomes of him if he can’t find help? It’s either he harms himself or looks for a substitute.
That’s exactly what happens in the case of unrequited love or a breakup. If the lovesickness is not recognized on time, the person might harm him/herself or look for another substitute that might be good or bad.
What triggers the lovesickness?
While Researchers and Medical authorities are still trying to figure out the exact causes of lovesickness, several factors that play a role in this sickness has been identified. Let’s discuss three early triggers of lovesickness.
Absence of Parental love
Most children got no definition of love from their parents. Not in the way the parents related as a couple nor in the way they related with them as their children.
They had no idea what to love and adore someone means so they grew up and gave a selfish definition to love based on their childhood experiences.
Someone that has never experienced love from childhood might grow up to be an obsessive, clingy, and extremely possessive lover.
This is not a very endearing combination as it might lead to lots of breakups and unrequited love. It results in a cycle of high and low, a repeated routine of being in love, and being out of love.
Insecurity & Fear
I hate to break this to you but yes it made the list.
As humans we all have flaws but if our flaws become a habit that is detrimental to us do we still keep them?
Some people were bullied in school by their peers, at home by their parents or siblings, their ideas were trashed, the way they acted was completely mocked by people around them.
This filled them with no direction on how to live, no idea of what love means, and definitely no knowledge on how to show love to those that care for them because they are afraid of been judged.
Insecurity has robbed a lot of people from the beautiful love experiences they are supposed to have. The fear of been judge, criticized, neglected or segregated, despised, or even laughed at has stolen happy moments from so many insecure people.
Nobody wants to be a pity party partner forever, that’s one of the reasons the relationship keep failing.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you do all the calling, texting, gifting? It called a one-sided relationship.
Most people are victims of a one-sided relationship, they feel like they have cared for everyone but receive nothing so when they finally find a partner who loves them deeply, they relax and do nothing hoping to receive.
This belief has ended so many relationships, it might go well for a while but how long do you expect a person to neglect their love language just to take care of you?
What are the symptoms of Lovesickness?
Symptoms could be the same as in the flu or a stomach bug, it is not the flu you are lovesick.
- Loss of appetite: This is very familiar during a heartbreak, no appetite to eat, not even your favorite food looks appealing.
- Insomnia- Of course this made the list. The restlessness, rolling around the bed with mental pictures that should have or had already happened. This not quite an exciting feeling.
- Depression(The big bad)- Depression has made a lot of people to do crazy things that they would normally not engage in. It has even lead to suicide and self harm, this is a very serious symptom.
- Lack of Focus – loss of concentration is certainly something that will occur to a lovesick person. Excessive thinking clouds your sense of focus or direction.
Other symptoms include;
- Neck pain
- Frequent mood swings
- Stomach ache
How to deal with lovesickness
1.Accept that you have a problem and be willing to find solutions.
2.Consult your doctor, your doctor will examine you and either recommend you to a mental health doctor or prescribe some drugs for you.
3.Embark on a self-love journey, try to find out what love means to you, and learn to love yourself then you will know how to love others.
4.Talk to a therapist as they will slowly help you find a solution to the triggers of lovesickness.